Tuesday, July 17, 2007

This door has closed so that others can be opened

Hi all,

This morning I spent some quiet time with God. Over the last couple of weeks I have been so excited about the opportunity for me to move with our boys to Haiti. A couple days ago I spoke to the director of the orphanage and it sounded (to me) like it was a go ahead...we just needed to work out the details. So everything started falling into place so wonderfully! We found tickets for the days we wanted to go at prices we couldn't believe. I had so much support and encouragement from my husband, family, and friends. The days I was to arrive was just a couple days after other missionaries were leaving so that the room I wanted to stay in would be open to us. Two out of three of our sons wanted to go, and then to our surprise the third also got excited about it. Now to just get an okay on the details so that we could move forward!

This morning during prayer I felt a feeling that God had news for me. I was hoping that it would be the news that we could stay in the orphanage and could book our tickets. I prayed and told God that I would trust Him and His answer no matter what it was but I just really wanted a very clear answer. I even prayed specifically that if it were the Lord's will that I go or stay that I would get it by way of email from the orphanage director today. This may not sound like an unusual prayer request but I will say I didn't expect to hear back from the director for quite some time because he has way bigger things to take care of then getting back to me about our trip weeks away. But God is good and answered my prayers. This very morning there was an email for me from the director. I excitedly opened it knowing that it was what I had just prayed for just moments before! Then as I read on I found out that the answer was pretty much a no at this point and I knew then that the Lord had clearly answered my question. I will admit to crying a flood of disappointed tears. It's not that I don't trust God's answer, I do... It's just that I had wanted so much to be with all of my children and experience this together. I know with God clearly telling me no to this plan that He still has great purpose in our families life over the next few months and believe that I will understand His answer as time goes on. Staying gives us the opportunity to serve Him here in ways we could not if we did not stay. I know that the closing of this door only serves to lead to the opening of other doors we couldn't walk threw if we were not listening. I am feeling hurt and disappointed now but know that I can also be praising God and trusting in His wisdom. I've insisted that I just want to serve God how and where He wants me to serve Him... now is the time to not just say the words but to live them.


Amy said...

Oh Angela, I'm bummed for you! I know there's something in store...you know the Lord, there's always something up his sleeve!


Ericka said...

Oh honey, I'm so sorry, I can feel your heart's pain.
Wish I had some perfect thing to say right now, but just know I'm praying for you to feel better about this.

Angelasparent said...

Angela, you are so right about the doors. I am just waiting to see what God is going to do with you while you wait. I know that going to Haiti would be a sacrifice, albeit a sacrifice of love, for you whole family. But, check out 1 Samuel 15:22.

Love, Dad