Sunday, July 29, 2007

Parenting advice needed!!!

All parents welcome to please give advice in comments or in private email at

Here's the problem: Our 4 year old! He just turned 4 recently and is incrediably smart and can be SO sweet! However, he can also be very difficult. He has decided to no longer be potty trained which is frusterating us to no end! We have tried anything and everything we have been told by friends and books. We have potty trained two boys before him but he sure has us puzzled! Yes, we have tried consistancy, taking away his pull ups (which only leaves me with the frusterating mess of cleaning underware), rewards, punishment, and lots and lots of prayer... and yet he still challenges us.

We are trying to figure out what we are missing and what to do about it. Yesterday he decided he didn't know how to put on his sandels anymore (something he has been doing for years) and it became a battle. It all leaves me to question: Is this emotionally driven? Could he be realizing more and more that his life is about to change and these new brothers and sisters really are going to be here and live with us? Could he be fighting for his place as the baby (now that he will have a little sister)? Or is he just really really stubborn?

What to try now??? All advice welcomed!!!


Linda said...

Angela, I thoroughly enjoy your blog and want to saw how much I admire you. It takes an incredible amount of courage and energy to add 5 children to your family.

As to your question, in my opinion it does sound emotional. He may be threatened by his loss of status as the "baby". Personally, I'd let the behaviours that I could live with go to be addressed at a later time. It's going to be even harder when Vilner and Lovenie are actually THERE and need to be treated as the babies they are.

Good luck and God bless

Anonymous said...

I too, love your blog and am inspired by you often...
I have fostered many kids in emotional turmoil who have this as an issue in this age group over the years, and all I would do is ignore the accidents, (I mean just say calmly ok let's clean this up - make him help you out a bit. Don't say anything else about it)And ignore it if he does go to the potty himself. Then check him every once in a while for dry pants and reward him for that. Make it random and unpredictable, at first more often then later spacing it out a bit....
Hope that helps a bit, it sure has worked for me. Blessings, Kim

Anonymous said...

Have you tried letting him run in the buff? This worked with my twins who potty trained late( 4 also). For some reason they made sure to get to the potty if they were naked. I tried to stay out of the process as much as I could because they played alot of "games" ( I think it was laziness:)I told them heres the toilet go if you feel the need. If there were accidents we cleaned it up no comment other than "OOPS". This took away any power from power struggles.
Also with my youngest daughter I noticed she tried to hang on to her baby behaviors longer than my others. Babies get alot of attention for being the baby. You might try giving praise in other areas of independence besides potty training.
Blessings :)