Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Sometimes I don't know if I should smile or cry!

I just now received this wonderful update picture from NLL/HFC! Aren't they just beautiful? It was a surprise as we had already received our update photo that I just shared with you here recently. I noticed the title on this one was "august_better_update". :) It was very sweet that they would send us another picture!
So how is it I could be trying to decide between tears or a smile? I emailed them today asking a question about our paper work and saw my chance to throw in there the question of asking if we are in MOI yet (I try not to hound them with questions). The answer is no we are still not in MOI! My heart just sank and I had to hold back the tears as I had really hoped our files were submitted and they just forgot to tell us (wishfull thinking right?). What does this mean for us? We likely still have several months (at best) ahead of us before bringing our kids home. I'm so tired of sharing that news. I'm so tired of saying "they should be home any day now". I'm so tired of putting our life on hold in hopes that we will get that email to come and get them. I'm so tired of watching everyone zip on past us in the process. I'm tired of thinking about how we can't even start to bring home our precious Jacques and Vilner until we get Stephanie, Jude, and Lovenie home. I'm just tired. I'm pretty sure tired is a symptom of being "Paper Pregnant" and we are paper pregnant X 5, of course I'm tired!
As I fight back tears (okay, lost the battle- As I sit here crying.....) I try to remind myself once again of the post that I just posted a few days ago stating that I have no REAL problems (except maybe attitude, haha). I continue to believe I'm a blessed woman beyond words but to deny that sometimes the process is not so painful I feel like I can't bare anymore would be a lie. Adoptions hard, it's really hard. Worth it but HARD! I do not "blame" anyone for these delays and do have faith that much is being done to bring home our children. I thank God for the hearts, minds, and hands He is using at NLL and HFC to get our children home and am so glad to have been able to see them in Haiti and know they are happy, loved, and well taken care of as we wait.


ange said...

CRUMMMYYYYYY I will pray you are into MOI soon and that it will be a whirlwind process! Oh I am so sorry sweetie. I am crying along with ya. Hand me the tissues please..............

Becky Hinchley said...

Angela - I feel for you. I feel we are one of those families who are "speeding" (relatively speaking) along in the process, and my heart just broke when I found out you still weren't in MOI. Sometimes I wonder if things are going a little quicker for us because we just have the one...but how knows. Nothing is certain in Haiti, is it! Know that I am thinking about you and praying that you get your precious Jude, Stephanie, and Lovenie home soon so you can start on Jacques and Vilner. They are a precious bunch...and you are truly blessed...although it may not feel like it right now.

Angela said...

Ange- my dear sister... thank you for your email of support and encouragement. I look so forward to celebrating together when our children are home. I learn SO much from you!

Becky- I saw your post on HA about your time line and just want to say I really truly am very happy for you. It helps that I've met Stanley and think that he's just wonderful, haha!! It is a very good sign that adoptions are running quicker and smoother and you are totally right that it is quicker to get one child home then several. I know God's got a plan and a reason, even if it's not always so clear (or easy) while it's happening. Thank you so much for your prayers and I can't wait to celebrate Stanley coming home to you!

Much love to you both,
and the La to your Ange

The Haiti Lady said...

The constipated adoption process is not for the weak.
However, when we think we are strong enough to hanlde it, they throw you a curve ball to show you otherwise.
Be strong in the fact that they will come home...not in your timing but in HIS!
Love ya,

ManyBlessings said...

Crying and stamping my feet for you girl. It is absolutely not fair. Yes, it's God's plan, but it's a really, really tough plan. I wish I could give you a big ole' hug and just cry with you. So I'll do it from here.

Sometimes I wonder how much our mama hearts can bear.

God is faithful. Hold fast to that.

Love you sister.


Ken and Alex Henderson said...

We were at the pool today and one of the ladies is trying to adopt through the state. She was broken- hearted over how long it is taking and shared that she has almost decided to stop the process and try international adoption because she hears it is so much easier. If she only knew...I thought of you and Ange and sent a prayer to God then and there that your children would be allowed to come home. Lord Jesus be glorified by moving this mountain!! I keep saying that prayer for both of you ladies over and over again. It just feels like this enormous mountain that only He can move, but when He moves it we will all rejoice!! I'm so sorry you guys are going through this. It stinks.

I applaud your transparency and courage. Love you!

The Fry Family said...

Hi Angela, I've been reading your blog for a while and never commented (sorry to "lurk"). I want you to know I'm praying for you and stomping my feet for you too. My husband and I are adopting three siblings and our journey has been much like yours it seems. We, too, were held by Immigration from entering MOI for weeks back in the Spring. We were told they were waiting until MOI got "moving" again. That was so very hard; I remember how disappointed I was. Perhaps adopting more than one child does lengthen the journey. I don't know but I, too, watch most families start and finish their wait while we continue to wait. My heart is heavy for you. Please know this lurker is praying for you and that you will get in & out of MOI very soon.
Blessings, Kristie
p.s. If you would like to know more about our journey, you can check out my blog at http://tallsmallfryfamily.blogspot.com

Ericka said...

You always try to be so strong, I'm so proud of you for 'letting it all out.'
We're here for you praying and sending hugs.
So very frustrating. I don't get it..........

Angelasparent said...

Sweetie, a couple of verses come to mind (actually, at least three). First of all, James 1:2-4 tells us to ...count it all joy..when we are in various trials, knowing that the testing of our faith brings patience. And then he tells us to let patience have its perfect work, that we may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing. Secondly, God told Paul (2 Cor 12:9) that His strength is made perfect in our weakness. It is often at the point we think we just can't go on any more that God intervenes and displays His marvelous power. And finally, a verse I know is near and dear to your heart, and should bring some encouragement: the Lord said to Israel (at the beginning of a wait of 70 years), "For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope." (Jer 29:11) So, Mom and I are praying too that the Lord will display His mighty power and bring our babies home as soon as His will permits.

Love you lots,