Friday, March 14, 2008

More Sweet Lessons from Children

Each night our kids run upstairs to brush their teeth and then meet in Kyle and Judes room for prayer before going to sleep. Jim and I often take turns doing this special time with our boys. Last night I had the privilege. We all said our prayers and then is when I usually head off to our own bed. However, last night was one of those times I just wanted more time with our boys so I laid down and they came and climbed all around me until all 3 of them were curled up near me. It started out as a simple enough conversation. The boys wanted to know why we are leasing another house instead of buying one (a question already asked and answered many times). So I again explained to them about the adoptions of their brothers and sisters and that it costs a lot of money to bring them home. Right now we have to make decisions so that we keep a lot of money going towards completing our family. I explained that when we were done with the adoptions we would get all that money back and have plenty of money to go and buy a new home, we just have to be patient. This began a conversation about making sacrifices for the things that matter. Not only were the boys then okay with it but it led to them asking me what more sacrifices they could make to bring their brothers and sisters home. We talked about the ones they have already made and the ones they will need to make when they come home. Then I had a chance to talk with them about what it might be like when their brothers or sisters come home. I explained that Stephanie, Jude, and Lovenie are having to leave behind everything they have ever known~ their country, family, friends, and learn a new language, etc. I told them how this may mean that for a little while they might need more of Mom and Dad's attention in the beginning so we can make them feel welcome and loved. I wanted them to know that if I suddenly start giving our new family members lots of attention it does not mean I like or love them more... It just means that they are needing me more right then. Our boys all sweetly agreed to not get jealous or hurt feelings when this happens. They are so concerned that their new brothers and sisters will be happy in our family. Then I looked over at Johnny and I could see that he was making the "I'm trying not to cry face". I really thought I blew the talk and now I've upset our little Johnny. When I asked him if he was sad he just burst into uncontrollable tears. I pulled him into my arms and waited for him to calm down a little so he could talk. When he finally told me what was wrong it had me fighting back tears too. He said in the most heartfelt way "I' sad for them that they have to leave all their friends." You could tell that he indeed was heartbroken for how hard that would be for his brother and sisters. Johnny was feeling the pain of something he wished his brother and sisters would not have to face. It's been amazing to see our boys love and care so much about siblings they have never met.

It's amazing how much you can learn when you tap into the hearts and thoughts of children. May we live our lives willing to take the burden of others (like Jude) and crying for their loss's (like Johnny). What surprises me about Motherhood is that I feel as if I learn so much more from these sweet young children then I could ever teach them. People often, well intended, say to Jim and I what a wonderful thing we are doing when they hear about our adoptions. Or will make comments about what a great opportunity we are giving them. I often just respond kindly as I know what they mean but inside I'm thinking... for them? No no... the blessing is 100% ours!


The Haiti Lady said...

So sweet. I love when the 'other' kids understand what needs to happen in order for the 'new' children to become part of the family. Keep the lines of communication open and they wont feel as much jealousy when the new ones come home and will truly understnad that they are not being replaced, but included in the bonding as a family!
Love ya,

Ericka said...

Ok, totally not expecting that and now completely in tears. Very, very sweet.
I love my boys too. There's something about them. They don't show emotion too much, but boy, when they do, it's flood gates for Everyone - esp mom!!!!
I'm sure it will be a *little* hard when the rest of the family is together, they're young and simply don't have the life experience to handle it all, BUT I Know how loving you and Jim are and I know ya'll work it out. And with that sweet - ness it's bound to be even a little more easier.
You are a great mom Angela :)