Thursday, April 12, 2007

Meeting Vilcianne (the birth mom) and baby Vilner!

Our very adorable baby Vilner!
Vilcianne- a brave and loving woman that we will all always love!

On Monday (my last day) I was told that they were going to look for the Birth Mom and baby Vilner and they took Jude and Stephanie with them to look for her. I was so nervous while waiting for them. With Stephanie and Jude gone I got to really love on Jacques and Lovenie. Kez had told me that it would take about an hour and a half and how ever long it took them to find her. Several hours had gone by and I started to really worry about them so I found Kez and asked her if I should be concerned. That's when I found out she meant an hour and a half each way! I was so greatful that they would go through that much trouble to make sure we meet. At dinner I went down with the girls for dinner. I was mid-bite when suddenly Stephanie threw her arms around me laughing and hugging me, and Jude was standing behind her with his giant grin. Then I saw their beautiful mom (she really is stunning, pictures just don't do her justice at all) walk in. I got up and went right to her and gave her a big hug and she gave me a big hug back. I told her as good as I could in creole that I was very happy to see her today and that I love her children very much. Vilcianne (the birthmom) was carrying a very gorgeous sleeping Vilner in her arms! I asked her to sit with me at the table and if she was hungry and thirsty. When she responded that she was I went in search for another plate, silverware, and glass and served her a meal. As she ate Kez helped us talk about so much! I learned so much. She told me that she was struggling supporting her children and keeping them safe so a friend suggested to her that she put them up for adoption and let a "white family" (her words) adopt them and take care of them. She told her friend "no way" and that her children were her whole life! When Lovenie was born she had Typhoid and was very sick and she is still paying what she can for the doctor bills and she decided then to go ahead and give Lovenie to an orphanage and hope that she would get adopted. Then after that... one night the UN and police came charging through their house and started shooting at people (there is huge contraversy over the police and UN in Haiti). She said she grabbed Jude and Stephanie and hid with them under a bed and prayed for protection. When the police and UN left two people in her home were dead (she did not say who). That is when she decided to get her children out of this dangerous area and give them opportunities that they could not have if they stayed with her. So since they were too old to put into an orphanage she put them on the adoption waiting list. We started the adoption of Lovenie and two months later found out about them and wanted to adopt all three. With Kez's help I asked her if she was surprised to see Stephanie and Jude come and find her today. She answered that she was just so happy to see them. Then I had Kez ask her if she was surprised to hear that I was in Haiti and wanting to meet her. Her answer was "No she was not at all surprised I was there because she prayed many times that God would send me and she would get to meet me".

After we agreed to adopt Lovenies siblings, Vilcianne brought Jude and Stephanie into the orphanage (they were able to move in after we agreed to adopt them) they took a picture of her with the kids. That was a little over a year and half ago. When we looked at the picture we thought for sure that she looked pregnant, and everyone else that saw the photo thought so too. So, we were wondering if she might want the baby (if there was one) adopted as well. We emailed the orphanage asking if they knew anything about the situation and never heard back. For more details about how we were led to add Vilner to our family as well please see my post title "It's a boy...uhm..again!" I was not sure if the birth mom had been told yet that we had agreed to adopt Vilner as well. So I was unsure if I should bring it up but Stephanie had been told and had told her mother so when I learned that I asked Kez to translate for me and talk about it with her. I asked her if she was absolutly sure this was what she wanted because we only wanted to adopt him if she was sure about it (she had already lost all her other children, and her husband had died about a year ago, and Vilner is all she had left). She paused before answering and then told me that she wants very much to keep him but knows it is not the best thing for him because it is so dangerous where they live. She said that she would not allow him to be adopted if it were not for the fact that he would be going with his brother and sisters and she wanted to get to know me and make sure he would be going to a good family and now that she has met me she was sure (although still saying it very hesitantly). Her biggest request is that we would please keep in touch with her and send her pictures and updates of her children and let her get in touch with them if she can. I reassured her that we wanted that very much also and that she would always be a member of our family!

Holding Vilner: After that tough discussion I asked her if I could hold Vilner. He's about the cutest most easy going baby I think I've ever seen!! So adorable! I didn't feel like I got a chance to really bond with him because they were at the orphanage for just a short time and I was trying to be very careful not to make this any harder on their mother then it obviously already was. Plus Lovenie was making her crying noise (she does not actually ever cry she just makes a sound immitating a crying sound) because she was jealous that I was holding him and put her down. So I just held and loved on Vilner for a short while and then handed him back to his mother. They had to leave quickly because where they live is so dangerous that they had to be very careful to get back before dark.

I thanked God again and again that He would allow me that time with them!!! For video's and more pictures of them please see the previous posts!


Ericka said...

Angela, I can't even write. I am completely overwhelmed by excitement for you. I have no words other than to say, I'm so happy for you and your kids. I can't wait to hear more. My heart is TOO full!!!

Anonymous said...

Would it be possible for the mother to come to the US with you as possibly a nanny or something? I feel so badly for the woman that she will lose her entire family.

Angela said...

Thanks so much Ericka. You have been such a great friend and such great support. I'm very grateful to have you to share all this with!

Anonymous- Thank you for having a big heart for the mother. We do too. We have prayed about and considered different ways to try to bring her home too as it breaks our hearts to leave her behind alone. God really confirmed that we were not to persue this. We legally can not give her any money or items during the process but once all the adoptions are complete will look into what we can do to help her get out of the neighborhood she is in and somewhere safer!

LeAnne The Haiti Lady said...

I cannot belive the whole blessing that came from one of my families turning down Lovenie as a referral. I was so angry, but knew God had a plan....little did I know what he really had going on for Lovenie, Stephanie, Jude and even Jacques, who you would not have met until you decided on Lovenie....WOW....goosebumps is what I get and tears want to pour when I think of the lives they are going to have with you and your family. The blessing sthat you will give them, and the blessings they will be to you.
Love ya,