Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Mom's Day In Paradise

Because I have managed to marry the worlds greatest guy I got to leave for almost the whole day Saturday. No kids... just a good book and a day alone at the Glen Ivy Spa! It was heavenly. It was just what I needed both emotionally and physically as I soaked in the hot springs, lounged in the lounge pool, hung out in the underground cave at the Grotto (my favorite place there), and had a quiet and delicious lunch alone in one of the most beautiful places I've ever seen. I left there feeling so refreshed and relaxed! Here is a link to the post about the Glen Ivy Spa when Jim and I went there for one of 10 dates for 10 years

Sunday, as promised, we returned with all the kids to Disneyland. We had some serious attitudes from a couple of our kids that day but we also did some really fun things. We did ride some rides but we mostly had gone there to see shows that we thought Stephanie and Jude would really like~ High School Musical 2 (which I was so glad was still playing because I had wished for Stephanie to be with me to see it many times before she came home). They tried to tell me they didn't like it but I saw the huge smiles on their faces and heard them laughing through Aladdin. Then afterwards:

"Did you like it?"
"Yeah right!". ;)

Thing are still pretty rocky around here. This transition has not been an easy one. We expected this but we didn't know we could have the horrible feelings we are having or even have thoughts at times of some regret about our decision to adopt. We also have some times of laughter and fun that help a little to survive the other uglier times. It's been hard on everyone but we are trusting in God's plan for our family and hang on to the hope that it will not always be this much of a struggle.


Becky Hinchley said...

Angela - I'm thinking of you and praying for your family. Things have been going for well for us, and it breaks my heart to hear that you are having trouble. I'm sure things will get better and it is just an adjustment period. You've had a major life change, and things are bound to be hard for a while. Keep your chin up...and keep up those "Angela days". You need to take care of yourself too!

Love, Becky

Rebekah Hubley said...

I am praying for you! EVERYONE has those feelings... We adopted through Bethany, and they just did a workshop on post-pardom adoption blues. I will call my social worker if you want me to, and see if she knows the title of the book that they referenced!

I am not saying that you are feeling this way, but just want to let you know that it is soooo normal. I bonded with Jonas right away, but it has taken my husband over 3 months to start "feeling" the bond and connection. It is not natural for us or the kids. It has been WAY more work than what I ever imagined!!!

I will be praying for strength and grace.

I love how "real" you are with your blog!!!!!

Amanda said...

Wish we could do dinner together...mom's night. So sorry that the days have been more difficult than you thought. I can't imagine taking 8 people's emotions, each one unfamiliar with the other, and then jostling them all together. BAM! as Emeril would say. Hopefully, it will all grow together, well seasoned, in time. Praying for your family as you all work toward becoming just that. A family.

The Haiti Lady said...

Have you ever read "Secret Thoughts of An Adoptive Mom"? I am not sure off the top of my head who wrote it, but it is VERY good to read, speaks honestly from the heart of an adoptive mama and the thoughts that many of us have had that we feel others may judge us for having...I firmly believe that we love our children, but some days we don't have to like them very much...
Love ya,

Heather said...

Please don't be hard on yourself. All those feelings are normal!! God's leading to these children was so evident in your posts. Remember his promises for you - A HOPE AND A FUTURE!! You are doing a great job - just keep leaning on the Lord. This is HIS work.

Anonymous said...

I'm feeling for you, Angela. We too had a very hard transition when we adopted our daughters and I remember having some very "ugly" thoughts and feelings, and many moments of regret. It is such a hard time--for you guys and for your new children. One thing I wish I would have been more sensitive and aware of thenis how deeply the girls were grieving and how grief (as well as fear) comes out differently in kids, often in anger, bad attitudes and disobedience. I think you've got the right idea by trying to focus on the good moments and using them to pull you thru. Even though you know there will be difficult times, there's just no way you can be prepared for how it will really be. I'll pray for God's grace to give you lots of fun, encouraging moments, and for courage and strength to deal with the hard times.


Ericka said...

Hi sweetie. I read your post earlier and have been thinking about it all morning. It just breaks my heart. Have you started homeschooling yet? I'm just wondering if some serious school routine would help a little bit. Also, I'm sure you've heard this a million times, but I think it's kinda good the kids have some 'tudes. That definitely means they are feeling secure enough to share that emotion.
Just know I"m thinking about you and sending prayers.

Ericka said...

This also reminded me of a post circulating around earlier, you'll probably need to go back to later posts to find it, but here's the blog:
This talks about the post adoption adjustment for both the P's and the kiddos.....

Renee said...

Hi Angela,
I am glad that you were able to have some time away!
I can also relate to you about the post-adoption blues. It was really hard at the beginning...some days it's still hard. It wasn't all the time, but definate moments. I have to remind myself that this was God's plan, then I think of my boys and their lives before they came home.
It's hard!!!:)
Sending you a HUG!