Friday, January 30, 2009

Six Months At Home~ How It's Going

Sunday it will be six months since Stephanie, Jude, and Lovenie arrived in America to join our family. It doesn't at all seem like it has been that long. Whew, what an adjustment time it has been for us all. One thing that is a surprise to me has been how natural it seems to have six children. When I count up all their heads it doesn't seem like that many and I'm always thinking "That's it?". While waiting to bring home our children I had read a lot and heard a lot about what a huge adjustment it was going to be for all our children. What I was unprepared for was what a huge adjustment it is for me as a Mother and as a person. I hadn't thought nearly as much about the emotions and battles I was personally going to face as well.

So here is how it's going~

Lovenie~ What an amazing little miracle this dear girl is! She is so full of spunk and giggles. She has changed and grown so much since coming home. She is talking a little in both English and Creole. Her comprehension has expanded at unbelievable rates. When she came home she had the mentality of a 1 year old and in only 6 months she is much more like a 2 year old. Unfortunately along with the comprehension of a two year old came behaviors of the terrible twos. She is going non-stop and gets herself in a lot of trouble but she is so sweet that she is still just precious. It feels good to know that she feels secure and loved. She takes dolls and stuffed animals and just really loves on them. She showers her Mama with snuggles and kisses nearly all day long and her Mama just LOVES it! I'm just all melty in love with her and it seems as if she has been our baby girl always.

Jude~ What a hoot! He's so cute and funny. I've been amazed at how good he is at everything he tries. His English is coming along wonderfully. He's smart, fun, and athletic. He's really just a totally remarkable little guy. He behaves great for us most of the time (other then normal little kid stuff). He still has some dark moods where he gets sulky and gets his mad face on. I think he's still working through some grief from all he has left behind and all that has changed for him. Usually we just love on him and wait it out and he works through it and is bouncing around again soon. He's so easy to love and we are excited to have him home with us. When I am apart from him for any time at all I really miss him. His sweet smile and easy laughter just brings warmth to our family. He has improved greatly when it comes to the aggressiveness and anger we saw in him the first two months home. He still has a tendency to not always be honest with us and we are working on truthfulness. We think it is a good sign that, while he does not always tell us the truth right away, he usually comes around to telling the truth and feels remorse for not being honest. Good sign!

Stephanie~ I have typed out and erased many times what to write about with our situation with Stephanie. I think I will leave it at this~ it's not good. Please continue to pray for her and for our family.


DotBlogger said...

Oh Angela, our prayers are with you. My girls have been home for 6 months also. I can only imagine the trials you must be going through with a teenaged daughter.

Email me if you want to chat.
We're dealing with things here, too.

Anonymous said...

Oh.....I am so sorry! How difficult this must be for you guys! Wish I could hug and pray with you right now....


Chapter Two Manmi said...

Hi Angela,
I just want to tell you I'll pray for you whenever I can remember to. My children have been home just more than a year and there were intense struggles with our eldest (pre teen) that once seemed quite hopeless. By God's grace we made it through and we learned a lot too. I wish I could reach out and hug you. You are not alone.
We are amazed by the girl our child is now compared to the angry and conflicted she came home as. It took a long while for her to believe she, too, needed a mother. I was wounded in more ways than one by her rejection. But if you were to read my journal today, you'd find what happens with healing. I feel very much for others in the struggle and know that it can be much more difficult than what we have experienced too. If I can be a friend or offer any ideas based on our experience, please email me at
God bless you and KEEP you,

Anonymous said...

I think this is the fourth time I have come to comment. First, the timer rang signaling dinner, then I linked into your family's video on youtube, I followed a link from one of your commenters.

I will be praying for you all! One of the words used to describe young people in the Old Testament is na'ar. This word means to shake off or overthrow. But, the same exact word is also translated youth, lad, boy or servant. It is a wonderful mind picture of a young person who is maturing and shaking off the need to come under their parent's rule and authority. How incredibly hard it must be for a young person to learn to hold on tight to their family while trying to shake off too.

Marissa didn't make the transition to big sister as smoothly as one would like. But, it occurred just a few months after she turned 16 and was accompanied by when you are 16... you have a boyfriend, drive, have a job, get to hang out with your friends (with or without permission). These things caused her to get in a LOT of trouble that she would have gotten into with or without the kids. With the kids here, she had a place to aim her frustration. Things are going better.

Beverly and David have been fine!

ange said...

Girl you know I love you and I am praying for you all! Really our home is open :) Wish you could all come for a while.
love ya

Anonymous said...

I'm praying here Angela. I'm so sorry that you are going through this. I have no "wisdom" to share, but I'm so glad that others here have BTDT and can maybe help! PTL! I just wanted to let you know that I'm praying. And sending you a giant hug!
danelle joy

Amanda said...

Hey Angela! I'm praying that all settles with your daughter and your relationships continue to grow with your other children. Much love and hugs!!!

Becky Hinchley said...

Angela - I am so sorry to hear about things with Stephanie. I have a 12 year old (almost 13) daughter, and it is just a really tough times in their lives...and then throw in being brought to an entirely new home probably does not help anything. Just keep loving her...teenagers are hard! My thoughts and prayers are with you.


Anonymous said...

Hi Angela,

If you haven't already, I would suggest checking out a book called "Beyond Consequences", website: ""

It a great resource for parents. They do a great job of explaining behaviors and strategies. There's a lot of free information on the website and they also have free seminars (free if you have their book) all over the country (there's on coming up on the 20th in San Diego, CA)

Hang in there!