Sunday, May 24, 2009

Days 2 & 3 in PAP

Thankfully days two and three in Port-au-Prince were considerably less eventful. I continued to be sick so we stayed at the guest house watching movies and playing games on Saturday. I went outside for a while and played some basketball with Jacques. The kid's got some game! Whomped me silly. When we moved on to volleyball he was beating me so badly that I called for reinforcement and Stephanie helped me gang up on~ he still whomped us! Way to go Jaco! Saturday night we got the privilege of seeing two French families come to pick up their adopted children. I was so thrilled for them!

Saturday afternoon is when I also learned that it was the weekend that Dr. Bernard and Claudette were mourning the 3rd anniversary of their daughter's unexpected death. It was so sad. :( We were glad to know to be praying for them through-out the time we were there. I can't even imagine such sadness.

Sunday I was tempted to stay at the guesthouse because I was still ill but instead rallied up my little bit of energy and went to church with the Bernards. I was so glad I did! What an experience church in Haiti always is. If anyone ever doubts there is really a God they need to only go to church in Haiti and FEEL Him all around you! Afterwards Dr. Bernard and Claudette took us to the home of a friend. It was an elderly woman that had a stroke 13 years ago and could not get out of bed to go to church so they brought it to her. It was one of the most beautiful things to witness. We sang with her, prayed over her, talked with her. Sweet sweet woman! Afterwards they showed me the views from her home and they are the background to the following pictures.

Obviously Jacques is taking his sibling role seriously. ;)

Dr. Bernard and Claudette~ they have become family to us. Every time I spend time with them my love and respect for them always grows. They are truly wonderful people!

Getting buggy

I wish I could say the good feelings continued on through-out the day but they did not. Stephanie and I had a big falling out that afternoon when some hurtful things were said. You would think I would have learned by now not to take things personally that are said by someone that is hurting, but it seems I have not really learned it yet. I was hugely offended. I'm sure it didn't help things that the very nature of the trip was sensitive and being tired and ill do not help things either. Poor Jacques could tell that things were not in a happy place between Stephanie and me and he became even more distant from me. I ended up on the phone with Jim that night crying my eyes out. I was venting and saying "WHY am I even here??!!" "Obviously it does not matter and is not appreciated. I am sick and tired and just want to come home. Why should I continue on when the person I am doing it for doesn't even care?" Yes, a crummy little pity party. I had reached the end of my rope and was talking about catching a flight out the next morning and returning home early. I don't like admitting that I can be that wimpy... but I can be. God really convicted me of it. Sick or not, appreciated or not... I was going to keep my commitment and continue on with Stephanie to her new home. It was about the last thing in the world I wanted to do. Now that I can look back at it... God blessed that decision big time!

Last night in Port-au-Prince ended with long talks with Dr. Bernard and Stephanie. It was so hard to watch him getting the news all at once that we had months to adjust to. Stephanie shared information that he planned to take immediate action about that could affect the lives of many others. In the long run I know it will be in a positive way. Afterwards Dr. Bernard had a bit of a counseling session with just Jacques and me. It was then that Jacques got the full story of what has really been going on in our home. I think the distance between us had to do with him thinking that Stephanie had just become too difficult for us so we were sending her away. Can you imagine the affect that would have on a son coming home to us? Once he knew the facts, and heard the truth about why things were happening the way they were... everything changed. All distance between us melted away. He was so kind and loving again afterwards and I was so glad to see that his heart seemed to be at ease again. Of course this also made our goodbyes the next morning so much harder. By the end of the night Stephanie and I had been restored as well. I was so proud of her for being so brave and talking about things that were so painful and difficult to discuss. She has strength that I admire.

Hang in there with me~ the story takes some sweet turns from here on.


One Crowded House said...

you are far from wimpy! don't ever think you are.... just from reading your blog... you seem to be much stronger (and I know where/ or should I say WHO your strength comes from)than most people I know.

God carried you through when you thought you were too weak to continue... He is using you to touch others as well! Thank you for being so willing to share!!!!

Anonymous said...

I love the picture of Stephanie getting buggy!

And, I am glad that you had the wisdom to let Jacques in on what is happening in your family. I had wondered what he did and didn't know after your last post when you had said things seemed uncomfortable. But, I decided asking would be nosy...

I told you once to remember what you believe. You are loving Stephanie when she cannot hold up her end of the relationship is hard. Looking at someone and choosing to see them as a unique, eternal being who has been created in image-bearer and loved enough that Jesus died for them in the face of sin can be draining. Being spent is not a sign of wimpiness. You are a faith warrior.