Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Understanding Mom

The "Mom" Dictionary
BATHROOM - A room used by the entire family, believed by all except Mom to be self cleaning.
BECAUSE - Mom's reason for having kids do things which can't be explained logically. (See: "I said so.")
COOK - 1) Act of preparing food for consumption. 2) Mom's other name.
DRINKING GLASS - Any carton or bottle left open in the refrigerator.
EAR - A place where kids store dirt.
EAT - What kids do between meals but not *at* them.EMPTY NEST - (See: "wishful thinking")ENERGY - Element of vitality kids always have in excess until asked to do something.
EXCUSE ME - One of Mom's favorite phrases, reportedly used in past times by children.
EYE - The highly susceptible visual organ which, according to Mom, can be "put out" by anything from a suction-cup arrow to a carelessly handled butter knife or by running with sharp objects.
FABLE - Story told by a teenager arriving home after curfew.
FOOD - The response Mom usually gives in answer to the question "what's for dinner tonight?" HAMPER - A wicker container with a lid, usually surrounded by, but not containing, dirty laundry.
HANDY WIPES = Pants, shirt sleeves, drapes, etc.
HANDS - Body appendages which must be scrubbed raw with volcanic soap and sterilized in boiling water immediately prior to consumption of the evening meal.
ICE - Cubes of frozen water which would be found in small plastic trays if kids or husbands ever filled the darn things instead of putting them back in the freezer empty.
I SAID SO - Reason enough, according to Mom. (See: "Because")JOY RIDE - Going somewhere without the kids.
KISS - Mom medicine. Cures all.
LAKE - 1) Large body of water into which a kid will jump should his friends do so. 2) Not to be entered within a half hour of ingesting anything.
MOMMMMMM! - The cry of a child on another floor who wants something, but nothing in particular.
MY LAST NERVE - Ultra-sensitive neurological feature which all moms have. Often used as trampoline by children.
SOCCER - Mythical sport invented by moms so they could sit on the sidelines while children burn up lots of energy.

Continue in prayer, and watch in the same Thanksgiving. Col 4:2

What did one eye say to the other eye?

Just between you and me, Something smells!

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