Friday, August 07, 2009

Mystery Solved~ A diagnosis for Lovenie

Many of you know the story that lead us to our children in Haiti. It all started when Lovenie had a "stroke" that left her in very bad shape. What has been unknown was if it was a stroke for sure or something else, or what caused that to happen in a baby. We have wondered these things for over four years now. Now that Lovenie has been home with us for a while we have had a chance to take her to many different doctors and specialists. Many tests were done and we now know that Lovenie did not have a stroke or any other neurological problem. To have done as much damage to her as it did there would be signs that show up on the MRI. They also ruled out illnesses that may have brought on her disabilities. They ruled out everything they could think of before sharing their diagnosis. They are very confident that they know what happened to disable our little girl.

Lovenie is a victim of shaken baby syndrome. Her disabilities and injuries are exact to the damage caused by shaking an infant. After all these years of believing that what happened to her couldn't have been helped, it was a real blow to learn that someone DID this to our precious little girl. A few seconds more would likely have killed her. They evaluated her to be about 60% brain damaged and while you never know... they suspect that she has peaked and that she will continue on in her life at this level. Furthermore, Lovenie has some problems with her eyes that will require surgery. We were told the only way for her to have the kind of damage she has is to have received a hard blow (or blows) to that side of her head. We are unsure if this happened during the shaking episode, and her head was hit while shaking her (which is common to happen) or if it was done at another time. However, we suspect that this part was likely done to her at an early age by her birth mom. Stephanie and Jude have told us many stories of their Mom beating them repeatedly in the head when she is angry, using rocks or hard metal objects. So it is not a real stretch to suspect the same was done to Lovenie. What's really concerning is their two little brothers still in the home with this abusive mother. PLEASE pray with us for their safety! Abuse is a sad and ugly thing. :-(

So we've been adjusting since that appointment to the idea of what really happened to disable our daughter. Strangely it seems so much more a tragedy that this was done to her rather then a natural health issue. She's such a delightful and precious little girl that we can hardly bare the knowledge of how hurt she has been. She is doing amazingly well at home with us. She is so loved on and just thriving. We'll do all we can to see to it that the rest of her life is safe and happy from here on out!

I would also like to ask for prayers for Jim and I as we need to make some really tough decisions based on other concerning information that has come to our attention. We are unsure about how to proceed but want to make sure we do it with wisdom and truth and do it in the right way. Also prayers for our family as something really bad happened to one of our children again a couple days ago that has us really upset. For privacy reasons I will not post what happened but please pray for the healing of our family as we continue to go through more heartaches. Adoption is a worthwhile and wonderful thing but it does not come without it's risks and trials. Thanks for your friendships, your prayers, and your support!


Salzwedel Family said...

Poor sweet Lovenie. I am praying for your family as you undergo this trial and that God's wisdom will prevail.

Ericka said...

Oh Angela.
My heart is just breaking right now. I was so sure it was a stroke for all this time.
Praise, praise, praises that she is in your family.
Will be praying for your family during this time.

Becky Hinchley said...

Angela - I'm glad you finally have an answer, but I'm so sad to hear what the answer is. My heart just goes out to the two boys at home with their mother. I'm sure you would just love to go down there and scoop them right up...I know I want to. I'm praying for you and your family right now. Best of luck and remember there are lots of us out here you can lean on.

Rose Anne said...

Jim and Angela,
Prayers for all of you here in Mn. ! That baby girl is loved by our loving God and he will made strong ....
God Bless,
Rose Anne

Kathy C. said...

It is so sad that it did not need to happen. Prayers.

ManyBlessings said...

You are ALL in my thoughts Angela.

Anonymous said...

Angela, I am at times bitter, angry and saddened that Marissa's problems seem to be directly related to her birth mother drinking alcohol, and using meth and cocaine while she was pregnant. As Marissa has aged, I am more understanding. I can see Marissa, whom I love very much... making the same choices. She lives in the moment and never, ever thinks about consequences.

So, I wonder ~ how many generations does this go back? Oh, I am not talking about generational curses or anything. I think each of us have the responsibility to turn toward the Lord and submit to living the ways of Wisdom. But, I have learned that my repentance (growing in a family where living Godly was the expectation no matter what your heart posture), seemed easier.

Sometimes all we can do is show our children the way of Wisdom and pray, A LOT!