Are you talking to me?

TODAY'S JOKE:
A jogger running down a country road is startled as a horse yells at him, "Hey! Come over here, buddy!"The jogger is stunned, but runs over to the fence where the horse is standing and asks, "Are you talking to me?"The horse replies, "Yes, I am. Listen, I've got a problem. I won the Kentucky Derby a few years ago, but then this farmer bought me, and now all I do is pull a plow. I'm sick of it. Why don't you run up to the house and offer him $5,000 to buy me? I'll make you some real money, 'cause I can still run."
A talking horse? Dollar signs go off in the jogger's head. Proceeding to the farmhouse, he finds the old farmer sitting on the porch. "Say, old man, I'll give you $5,000 for that old, broken-down nag you've got out in the field." Replies the farmer, "Son, don't get all excited. He's lying. He's never even been to Kentucky ..."

TODAY'S BIBLE VERSE:
Don't worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about it's own things. Matthew 6:34

TODAY'S KID JOKE:
What do cops use to arrest pigs?

Ham-cuffs