Funny signs

TODAY'S JOKE:
Spotted in the toilet of a London office: "Toilet out of order. Please use floor below."
In a Laundromat: "Automatic washing machines. Remove all your clothes when the light goes out."
In a London department store: "Bargain Basement upstairs."
In an office: "Would the person who took the step ladder yesterday bring it back, or further steps will be taken."
In an office: "After tea break, staff should empty the teapot and stand upside down on the draining board."
Outside a secondhand shop: "We exchange everything -- bicycles, washing machines, etc. Why not bring your wife along and get a wonderful bargain?"
Notice in health food shop window: "Closed due to illness."
Spotted in a safari park: "Elephants stay in your car."
Seen during a conference: "For anyone who has children and doesn't know it, there is a day care center on the 1st floor."
Notice in a farmer's field: "The farmer allows walkers to cross the field for free, but the bull charges."
Message on a leaflet: "If you cannot read, this leaflet will tell you how to get lessons."
On a repair shop door: "We can repair anything. Please knock on the door -- the bell doesn't work."

TODAY'S BIBLE VERSE: For to us a child is born, to us a son is given;and the government shall be upon his shoulder, and his name shall be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. Isaiah 9:6

TODAY'S KID JOKE: (Kyle L. age 8)
How did they catch the crooks at the pig farm?
Someone squealed.