A First For Her, A First for Me

Yesterday we had another family first that will result in more change in our home. I picked up the paper work to register Stephanie for public middle school. It was amazing to me how little I know about the details when it comes to public school.. What time does it start and end? How do I purchase her lunches? Which immunizations does she need? What is the dress code? What does she need for PE? What school supplies does she need? What is the bus schedule and how much does it cost? It costs to take a bus to school now?!! I always thought it was free, is this a new thing? Where do I take her for her English level testing? Do I do that before or after she starts? The list of questions go on and on!

I was often asked before bringing the kids home if I would continue to home school all our kids and the only answer I could give is "I'm going to try!". I still believe that if I was focused solely on what is in their best interest educationally that I would keep them home, but I've also always said that if home schooling became toxic in my relationship to any of the kids I would not hesitate to look for an alternative.

There are some positive reasons for this decision; Stephanie is very social and is used to being around many girls her age. So we think she will enjoy being gone during the day and making new friends. Also, she is hesitant to learn and speak English and I think we make it convenient to be comfortable with that since we communicate a lot with her in Creole. We think being thrown into an environment that she MUST learn and speak English will help her in the long run.

The not so positives; I would be very surprised if the remainder of this school year will actually be very educationally successful for her since she will still be learning English and she will be started in 7th or 8th grade because of her age. She has only completed through 2nd grade in Haiti and when I do 2nd-3rd grade work with her at home she really struggles to understand concepts that Johnny, Jude, and Luke (yes, Luke is doing 2nd-3rd grade math and reading and he rocks at it at only 5 years old!) catch onto quickly. So it's really going to be a challenge for her. The big pressing decision for sending her to public school though has honestly been our relationship. Adoption is difficult enough but when you throw in a teen girl in the mix, a different culture, and totally different personalities and whew! To say we have not "clicked" would be quite the understatement. I love her. I am glad that she is here. I totally believe she will be a beautiful blessing in this family. However, for now, we clash daily. This causes frustration and tension that is felt by all members of the family. I'm worn out by it and the other kids lose out when I am having to struggle with her all day and they get only a cranky and distracted Mom. So for the health of our family, and the hopes that being with other kids will bring her joy... I believe this must be done. We do pray that Stephanie will love her new school! We certainly want her to be happy. We are going on a 10 day family vacation starting next week so she will begin after we get back on Dec. 1st. She is nervous about it so please pray for her if you think of it. I gave them the option of going to public schools or staying home and they all wanted to do school at home. So she has not been exactly excited about our decision to send her. I'll keep y'all posted on how it goes!