First Easter In America

We couldn't ask for a more beautiful first Easter with our children!

Below is a photo of the baskets and gifts we put together for our kids and nephews. Instead of Easter Eggs we made resurrection gifts with tissue paper and ribbons. Not because we are so very creative and clever, but because we are the definition of procrastination and all plastic Easter eggs had been sold out of the stores by the time we went looking for them. The eggs would certainly be easier but the resurrection gifts (as we named them) are just beautiful. Maybe it will be a new tradition?

Bring on the kids!
The gifts were met with much glee.

Lovenie receives her first ever bible

After gifts it was time to scramble around and get everyone ready for church. Our service was held outdoors in a park. Jim and I sat in lawn chairs while our children laid out in the sun in front of us. It was a sweet time.

Followed by a picnic and egg hunt`

Jude enjoyed his first Easter egg hunt. He excitedly showed me his huge full bag. I reminded him to make sure that the littler kids found them too. He went back and gave away nearly every single one of his eggs to little kids. So sweet! Then later when Luke's bag tore open Jude offered him his.

Searching for reserrection gifts at home~

After church we returned home for a super great celebration with Jim's sister and family. It is so great living near them now and it was fun to be spend the evening with them. It made it all the more special for our family.

Our handsome and sweet nephews are so fun to be with. One of them even collected the resurrection gifts for Lovenie while she napped.

Lovenie ends out the night with some sass.

I had a long phone chat with Stephanie on Saturday night. Her foster parents had taken her to a dramatic Easter play. She loved it so much that they found friends to take her back to it a second time in the same day. I had gone by the group home to see her and leave her a gift but she was away at the play. Knowing the family that she spent her first American Easter with, I am certain she had a very special one! It was strange to not be able to include her on our family celebration but this is just the kind of thing we will have to get used to.

Overall, a really memorable and fantastic day!

Many Changes

So it has been a little over a week since Stephanie has been out of our home and I think maybe I might be ready to share an update. Whew... things have been so heartbreaking around here. We find ourselves in that place of having to totally rely on God to get us through it.

Stephanie is currently at a Christian Therapeutic Group Home. She is safe and is with a couple (without children in the home) that is very kind to her but strict as well. This couple is such an answer to prayers. She is very homesick and wants to come back home to us but we can not and will not let that happen any time soon (if ever). Please continue to pray for her and pray for our hearts as we struggle with our relationship with her. This group home is likely a very temporary situation as it is costing us thousands a month. Not something, short of a miracle, that we can do for long. Ideally we would still like to find her a family that would be willing to adopt her through adoption disruption. We think she would thrive best in a home where there would not be young or mentally disabled children. If we cannot find her a home we may be left with little option and have to allow CPS to take over. :(

Now that she is out of the home Lovenie seems to have let the floodgates of pain open. She does not speak much (because of the stroke) but communicates by words as much as she can and the rest she communicates with dolls and pointing. Please please pray for Lovenie as she is for the first time grieving what has been happening to her.

The whole thing is just really sad! It is so hard to comfort Lovenie by day and then in the evenings talk with Stephanie and comfort and encourage her too. We know what has happened has been a result of so much pain in her life too. Some days it is easy to extend her grace and other days I struggle with anger and not wanting to be in a situation where I have to talk with her. I had a very honest talk with her about this recently and told her that some days we can talk but there will be other days she'll just have to give me some space to work through this all too.

It's still a very dark time with a lot of unknowns. I keep trying to cling to the fact that God made it clear that He already has it figured out but it is so easy to slip back into fear or trying to "solve" it all myself.

Now some positives~ While I was away at the retreat Jim went into Lovenie and Stephanie's room and removed all of Stephanie's things. Jim had Lovenie give him input and was so sensitive about making sure she was okay with what he was doing. He then set the room up to surround her with things that are only for HER. Stressing that this is only her room now. She smiled and clapped her hands and has been spending so much time in there. The way he did it and the sensitivity he used makes me so very proud of my husband.

I keep watching and waiting for Jude to start acting out over all that is happening. He has not. He has been a real joy and does not seem to be taking it all too hard. He says he understands why his sister had to go somewhere else and he is protective over Lovenie. Honestly, there has been a real peace in our home when we are not in the thick moments of dealing with the issues. I had not realized how much stress we had been under for the last 8 months until Stephanie was gone. It makes me sad to realize how much tension our family had been living with each day, and worse, how much fear our children were living with. The overall reaction from all the kids seems to be one of great relief.

We have never been in a situation like this and are constantly asking ourselves if we are handling it well and making good decisions. It's so tough. No one can tell us what to do~ it is for us to work through while trusting in God to lead us through it. I know there are times that we probably say or do the wrong things but we can only pray that God will smooth it over and help us continue on.

Really?

Ah the joys of living with a son with mild autism. No, seriously... he's such a joy! He says the most off the wall things and does it with the funniest faces. He really cracks us up. Unfortunately autism has a repetitive and sometimes annoying side. Johnny goes through phases that he says the same thing over and over again. One of my favorites was his phase that to everything we asked him he would answer with an exaggerated tone and say "I have COMPLETE no idea!" This one has given us many laughs and although he has moved on from it Jim and I still jokingly say it about things. Now he has moved onto asking us "Really?" to EVERYTHING we say.

Us~ "It's time to eat."
Johnny~ "Really?"
Me~ "Johnny you forgot to put away your dishes."
Johnny "Really?".

On and on this goes. It totally amuses me. I laugh in my head right now at it as I think of how much his response echo's exactly how I feel. I feel like saying to God "Really?" to everything happening in our lives. Some of the things we are experiencing seems so surreal because you never really think you will find yourself in this place. I've found myself asking Jim "Is this really happening?" "Is this really our life right now?"

A little ode today to the word REALLY!

It Rains Harder On Me

After enjoying a gorgeous sunny day yesterday it is now cold and pouring down rain today~ hailing even. The kids and I stood at the window in awe watching it pour down. It was all fun and games until I realized "OH NO" I left one of the windows in the car open. I grab a jacket and throw it over my head without even bothering to put it on. Out in the storm I went yelling "BRRRRRR" the whole time. I got the window closed and ran back to the house. Just as soon as I was indoors the rain let up and became a drizzle. Me and the kids laughed about it. I asked them if they thought I make it rain harder and when they all said yes we decided to test it. So I threw the jacket back overhead and out again I ran. Sure enough, once I was outdoors again it started raining harder. I'm indoors again now and there is nearly no rain. Weird right? If anyone has any big outdoor events you need it to not rain for just give me a call and I'll make sure to stay in that day.

This morning I was doing our start of the school day prayer with the boys. Afterwards Johnny looked out the window at the rain and said very matter of factly "A 100% chance of rain today". He's a genius alright!

I've Been A Silly Silly Girl

I have returned home from one of the most beautiful places I've ever seen~ Lake Tahoe. I was able to rest, read, and worship. I spent precious alone time with God and was able to just be still and really HEAR Him and feel his presence. So Great!

The last few days leading up to the retreat were not so great. Now that Stephanie is out of the home Lovenie has felt safe to tell us what has been happening. Have you ever thought it might be possible that your heart could actually shatter from aching? I held her while she chattered and cried. I listened when she talked without asking more then she wanted to tell or trying to distract her. It occurred to me that this precious little girl has never had anyone to protect her, hear her, and hold her while she cries. I'm determined to do all I can to end that here and now. Once she would go back happily about her play I would be free to go to my room and sob and sob. Then I had to deal with some feelings of anger about it all. It wasn't pretty. On top of all of that the heavy stress about what to do about the situation we are now in has been nearly unbearable. The thoughts of what we should do now and how to help everyone had consumed my every waking thought.

This weekend I got alone with God and He gently told me that I am being a silly silly girl. What do I think I can accomplish with all my efforts? I could never heal the hurt in our children. I could never personally figure out an answer an how to handle this all. Then He hit me with the whopper~~~ It is not my problem to solve! What? It sure feels like our problem to solve, but it is not and has never been. This has been God's show all along. He already has the answer and will reveal it to us when it is time. All He asks of us is to have a willing heart to do whatever part of it He calls us to. God brought my attention to this verse: "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, Nor are your ways My ways," Says the Lord. For as the heavens are higher then the earth, So are my ways higher then your ways, And my thoughts then your thoughts. Isaiah 55:8-9

Knowing this is the truth WHY would I even try to come up with my own plan? I need to step back and remember that I was never intended to control the situation. Whew, What a huge relief that is!

He also brought my attention to: The chastisement for our Peace was upon Him and by His stripes we are HEALED. Isaiah 53:5 This is a verse I've heard many times before but it took on new meaning to me. Not just healed from our sins but healed from ALL things that sin creates. It was a sweet promise to cling to that God is at work in Stephanie and I believe with all my heart He will heal the many hurts that has been done to her. She will come out of this stronger, more compassionate, and more loving. All that was intended to harm her will be healed and what was intended for bad will be used for good. Our little ones at home will heal as well. How do I know? All the sin that created the pain has already been paid for and defeated. Cool thing right???

For my children God has shared with me;
Great shall be the peace of your children. Isaiah 54:13

And for myself;
For you shall go out with joy, And be led out with peace

Joy and peace while being led. That works for me!!

Retreat

Because I managed to snag the world's greatest husband~ Jim will be taking the day off of work tomorrow and sending me away for a 3 day women's retreat with our new church. I won't really know anyone yet but that doesn't bother me much as I love to meet new people. The timing is so perfect and a retreat is just what the Dr. (as in the Great Physician) ordered.

Things continue to be sad around here and probably will be for quite a while. We just keep praying for a miracle. We try very hard not to let it take our lives over and leave us unable to enjoy anything. We are determined to laugh and love too.

I'll be back soon and hopefully come home refreshed and recharged!

Got Me

Some of you that are my friends every day of the year EXCEPT on
April 1st will be very happy to know that I was pranked good yesterday. Jim made a good attempt but it didn't work. Then at night I went upstairs to brush my teeth and when I turned on the water it went every which way except down! I looked at it and found cling wrap had been strategically wrapped around the nozzle and tied down. I went down stairs and told Jim good job for finally getting me. He said he didn't do it, I insisted he must of and asked if he was April fooling me by denying it. He then asked me if I was April fooling him by saying it was done and he did it. Around and around like this we went (we trust each other every day but this day). It wasn't until morning when we learned it was JUDE!!! Way to go Jude. I'm awfully proud of him and look forward to seeing what he will come up with next year.

Eggs And Beans In My Purse

Aw, it is one of my favorite days of the year. I LOVE April fools day. A day for totally silliness. This morning I woke up early and while everyone slept I took everything out of Jude's backpack and wrapped each item in tinfoil. Then I put them all together in a bundle and wrapped it all with cling wrap, along with a note that said Happy April Fools Day. Then I moved on to Jim's Laptop case where everything (including his wallet) got the tinfoil treatment. I put cling wrap under the toilet seats to catch peep on unsuspecting morning peepers and did all sorts of other little pranks. When Jim was awake I took him into the boys room with me to watch while I very carefully used red lip liner to draw on mustaches and beards. ;) I couldn't believe I managed to get them all without them figuring out what I was doing!

I'm not all pranks and mean, I'm silly too. On April Fools day we eat our meals backwards. This morning we had dinner for breakfast~ spaghetti and fresh out of the oven brownies. The kids LOVE doing this but nervously checked all their food and drinks because they were so sure I did something to them. Jim discovered his tin wrapped laptop case before leaving and the kids all had a good laugh that I got their Dad. When Jim was leaving I smiled sweetly at Jim and told him to have a nice drive to work. Everyone looked at each other and then ran outside to see what I did to the car. Jim got in very cautiously and his parting words were "You didn't cut the brakes did you?". After he left the kids all asked me what I did and I told them the truth. I did NOTHING. But it's fun to imagine Jim cautiously driving all the way to work. ;)

The kids keep trying to get me back and have pulled over some little tricks on me. This morning I opened my purse and found all sorts of strange things. Toys, a tinfoil wrapped camera, and A CAN OF BEANS!! I thought this was all funny until I found that everything in my purse was STICKY. That's when I learned that one of the kids thought it would be funny to place an egg in my purse too. Only problem is that they accidentally broke the egg while putting it in there! We had a nice little chat about the rules about pranks~ no hurting or angering anyone, and no damaging things (like say, egg on my checks, cards, pictures, etc!!!). It's been a fun morning and the fun is sure to continue. I'll be thinking up new pranks as the day goes on. Tonight we will be having breakfast for dinner.

On a not as funny update~ As of yesterday Stephanie is not in the home with us. We have her in a temporary situation that we think is an answer to our prayers. I'll update more later but today we just need rest, prayer time, and then we will move on to making some serious decisions.

Urgent Prayers and Help Needed!!!

Dear friends,

This is so very difficult to write but I realize it should be done. We have shared that we have been having problems with one of our adopted children but it has escalated into a very serious situation. Stephanie has caused serious harm to two of our children and can no longer remain in our home. CPS came by yesterday and had planned to leave our home to go to Stephanie's school and pick her up (without even a goodbye) and take her into custody. After long talks with the social worker we agreed that we could very short term keep our children safe while looking into alternatives. We have until Tuesday until we speak with them again. As of now, if Stephanie is removed from our home they say her issues and age make it very unlikely they will be able to place her in a family setting. She will likely head to a group home hours away from us. We feel this could be a very bad thing for her. We have very few options, but one option may be to find another family for her ourselves. It would have to be a family without young or mentally disabled children, without sexually active children, and a family willing to help her with very serious issues.

We have no idea what is going to happen. We know it is a real stretch to find her a home at her age and with her issues, but we must at least TRY! Will you please keep our family covered in prayer during this extremely difficult time? Could you please pass on this information and our contact information with anyone you know of that may be able to consider taking in Stephanie?

We ask that you would please pray pray pray pray. We are in the need of a miracle here! We know many of you will have questions about what happened. We ask that, unless you need to know to decide about taking in Stephanie, you please refrain from seeking the details of what brought this about. We want to seek help and a home for Stephanie but do not want to get into situations of simply gossiping about the situation. Our family is hurting in very big ways and your support and friendships are always very much appreciated.

Then WHO Can Help?

The difficulties continue and the stories get increasingly sad. There are a lot of things going on that we will not likely share on this blog for the sake of our children's privacy~ but times are really tough so please keep praying for us!

Today I went to the first appointment with a psychiatrist seeking help for one of our children that really needs a lot of help. The psychiatrist is at a large mental health clinic. I know some of the things we are dealing with are extreme and serious but I was thinking that psychiatrists have likely seen and heard it all. Imagine my surprise when the psychiatrist was overwhelmed with the issues. That's when you know it's bad. ;) She was kind, spent a couple hours with me, and seemed determined to help in any way they can. There will be a meeting held on Thursday morning when we will find out if they will be able to admit our child to receive help from the clinic or have to refer us elsewhere. I have been warned though that the Dr. thinks it likely the issues are too serious for them to handle. I would have never expected that response.

Beyond that~ because of a situation that has come to light regarding something that happened with a couple of our adopted children (before joining our family) the psychiatrist has a legal responsibility to report it to CPS. I understand that and since we have never been in a situation like this before was unsure what you need to report to who. I'll admit that most stories I've heard involving CPS are not good ones so am not thrilled at this prospect. There is a chance they will choose to not investigate it since it did not happen while in our home.

This all is such a great reminder that there are things in life that people, no matter how well trained, can not help us with. Our strength and help truly needs to be from the Lord. He may bring people along to help but our trust really needs to be in Him. Our children need healing beyond anything any person can offer (including us parents). We do trust in God to see us through this and heal our children. We don't know what His plan is or how many more dark days we have ahead of us, but we do know He loves our kids more then we do and He will not leave us in this place. One day our family will have an amazing testimony to share! One day we will be able to reach out to others to help encourage them through similar hard times (like others are doing for us). This too will all be used for the good!

TWO YEARS SEIZURE FREE!!!

Thanks to God for his grace! I'm still not much in a celebration mood today (not to mention being exhausted) but that does not change the fact that I am so very thankful to be where God has brought me to today!

Jim returns home to us late tomorrow night. We are so excited!!! We've decided we will not allow him to leave the house ever again once he gets home. ;-) Okay, I guess we'll have to let go of him at some point but for now we will at least have the weekend.

The Worlds Greatest Guy!

A huge shout out to my man! This week has been an especially hard time for our family with breaking (as in heartbreaking) happenings. The timing was just terrible as Jim had to leave early Sunday morning for a business trip. The days have been just horrible with the heavy weight of the things that need immediate attention and decisions. Jim's been calling to pray with me, encourage me, and talk with me whenever he can. Insisting that he wishes he could be right here helping with the situation.



To top it off, today is our much talked about monthaversary and Thursday will mark the 2 year celebration of being seizure free. I have not been in much of a celebrating mood (shocking, right??). Then my doorbell rings and I am handed a gorgeous bouquet of flowers. It nearly brought me to tears (a different kind of tears then the other many shed ones)! How does he know exactly what I need and exactly when I need it? What a GREAT guy!



This is not a time I would wish on anyone but I am not in it alone. Not only is God right here throwing sunshine moments into my day but he's even given me a strong and thoughtful husband to see us through it all. There is a lot of comfort in that!

What are the plans for little Vilner?

The situation is such an odd one. I'm still not really sure WHAT happened. It was also a little over 2 years ago that we learned about Stephanie, Jude, and Lovenie's little brother Vilner. He's so very adorable! It was a neat little story.... A friend (dear Kez) sent us an email that their Birthmom and little brother stopped by to see the kids. Our reaction... "There is a little brother??!!". We had no idea! We prayed about this little boy a lot and wondered what God might have in store for him (and if it included us). When we called to request to adopt Jacques we decided we would ask about what the Mother's plans were for Vilner and asked the director of the O if there was anyway he could gently ask her and to let us know if she would want him adopted as well. Jim asked the director about it and the director was very quiet for a little bit. He asked Jim how we knew about the baby brother and we told him a friend had met him. He then shocked us by telling us that their mother had already come to him and asked him to ask us to adopt Vilner as well. He told her he didn't want us to feel pressured to do it so he would not mention anything about it to us and pray that God would have us find out about him if we were to know~ and He did! So, at the same time we requested to adopt Jacques we committed to adopting Vilner as well. Then months later our adoptions of Vilner and Jacques were both denied.

Here is the odd thing about it all~ I always felt that there was a reason that their Mom needed us to commit to the adoption of Vilner (for the time). I also never felt the same peace that he was going to be our child, the way I felt about the other four. There just wasn't the same connection. I thought maybe that would change once I met him (which I did just three days later). Nope. I adored him but there was no maternal connection. I talked with their Mom, in person, about adopting him and sensed a great reluctance. I could tell she did not really want him adopted. She said she would be willing to have us adopt him because she would want him to be with his brother and sister. I just knew in my gut it is not really what she wanted. I expected her to change her mind and back out of the adoption. So it was not really a surprise when two years later he still was never brought into the orphanage. We asked repeatedly what was going on and never received an answer. We assumed she had changed her mind and, honestly, we were thrilled for her and determined to help support him while he remained with her.

Friday night we learned that she changed her mind again and brought him to the orphanage asking that they would take him in and have us adopt him. She was told that it is now too late and he returned home with his mother. I have no idea what has been going on in the last two years, or what has changed now. I do believe now that he may not be intended to be part of our family (although still not totally sure). I have mixed feelings... I'll admit some of the feelings are relief. We have been dealing with dark issues that are way beyond regular post-adoption issues and most days we are just struggling through each day. We know that one of our children is mentally ill and that there is a family history of mental illness. I do think that if we were to add another child with mental illnesses to our family right now we would likely just fall to pieces. On the other hand, after learning about all the abuse and painful situations our children have endured it is so hard to not run to Haiti and bring him here. How could we just leave him and know that he is likely headed for the unimaginable pain and suffering our other children have endured??? It's a tough situation. One that requires lots and lots of prayer. It is so hard to not say yes to an adoption. We just need to wait on God's leading here. We'll see what he has in store for us. Until then we will most certainly be needing to be covering precious little Vilner in our prayers. Will you please pray for him with us?

Our Life As A Reality Show

When people see or hear that we have a somewhat large family I often get asked if we've seen the Jon & Kate plus 8 or 17 (now 18) and counting shows. I used to just say "Nope" until being asked so many times peeked my curiosity. I recently have watched a few episodes of each. It's totally amazing to me that we will sit and watch someone elses family just existing in another ordinary day, and yet there is something about it that sucks me in when I watch them!

So today I was thinking about this and wondering "What if our family had a reality show? What footage would they use?" Each day seems so normal and sometimes dull.... feed the children, pay some bills, feed the children, run some errands, do school, feed the children, clean, feed the children, feed the children. Who would want to watch that?? Then I think about the many "moments" stuck in the middle of all the doldrums. There are countless fun and memorable moments!

Yesterday I needed to get a smog check to renew the tags on our van. I loaded up the six pack (of kids, of course) and off we went to get it done. Because downtime at an auto shop is no fun, the kids and I hit the streets! At each red light we started a new game. We would all together take a deep breath, exhale loudly, reach our hands towards the light, and in unison yell out "CHANGE". When it would change on cue all seven of us would scream and jump around excitedly. It was fun and silly. Can you imagine what the people in there cars must have thought of us? The puzzled looks we get while we are out and about are priceless. People are always trying to "figure us out". I can almost hear their minds thinking "must be a daycare" because I get asked that all the time.

The network could have featured the moment that a woman mindlessly started to go through the crosswalk during a red light~ nearly wiping out half our clan. I can picture how they would show that clip over and over again leaving everyone in suspense.... will someone be dying or not?? Just to find when they play it that it really wasn't THAT big of a deal! We could have shared our stop at KFC for a double chocolate chip cake that is advertised for up to 4 people but we split up for more then enough for 8 (saving a piece for Dad). On and on our adventures went in just a half hour slot of waiting for a smog on our car. There are so many more slots of time that are just little bursts of laughter, fun, silliness, cuteness, and love. Sometimes when things are really stressful and busy it is easy to forget about these kinds of moments, but they are sometimes the very thing that helps push us through the things that we "must" do so we can get back to the fun. I'm convinced that every family is living their own lives of adventure and drama. We should ALL have our own little reality show! ;)

Years In Waiting

It's been a little surreal recently to be thinking about the fact that it was almost exactly 2 years ago that we requested to adopted our dear sweet Jacques! 2 years ago that he found out that a family (the first family he has ever known) had requested that he would please join our crazy little clan for the rest of our lives. Almost 2 years ago that I first hugged him and knew without any doubt he had always been destined to be our son. We had attempted to add his adoption to the paper work that we already had in progress to adopt Stephanie, Jude, and Lovenie. It was a couple months later that we learned that IBESR (Haiti social services) had denied our request to adopt him saying that we would have to wait for our adoptions of the 1st three to be complete and then try again. Crushing... just crushing!

We know he is more then worth the wait but the waiting can be so hard. Because we have been facing so many issues with one of our children we sometimes think about how this might be part of the "why" he wasn't able to come home too. I would really love to have a stable family for him to come home to.

It was so great when the kids had internet access and we could at least write him and have a relationship with him. For the last several months the kids at HFC have not had internet access and so that kind of contact was lost. During our move a couple different people went to Haiti and we usually beg whoever is going to please take letters, pictures, and gifts to our son for us. These last couple of times the timing was hectic and we didn't get anything in the mail in time. How I worry that he will think we just stopped caring! I wish there was some way to pour out to him how we feel about him and how much he is wanted here with us. We just continue praying for him and thinking about him everyday. One day this will all be behind us and I can cuddle up with him (you think a teen will cuddle??) and tell him all of this face to face. One day he'll know how much we want him. He may never understand how humbled I feel that God would let us parent and love such an amazing boy! I would much rather have years of waiting then to not know him at all.

Victory

In him, therefore, we stand. Thus today we do not fight for victory; we fight from victory. We do not fight in order to win but because in Christ we have already won. Overcomes are those who rest in the victory already given to them by their God. (Nee, 1957, p. 55)

We already know the battle has been won. We already know that all things are working together for our good. We see a lot of battles~ and it's sure not fun to be in the midst of them~ but what a great comfort to know how it will end!

A Licorice Cowboy

I guess since my first name ends with La and my Last name starts with La, perhaps I was destined to check out into "LaLa" land from time to time. That time has come again. Above is proof! Eating ropes of licorice turned into creating a licorice cowboy. Do I have better things to do with my time~ Oh yes. Is there much more pressing things that need my attention~ Oh yes! However, a licorice cowboy made me laugh and THAT is exactly what I'm needing these days.

Yesterday was one of the lowest points of our post adoption experience, really one of our lowest points ever. Heartbreaking situations and information was brought to light that my head (and stomach) is still on spin cycle from it all. Please do keep praying for our precious children who need healing of so many hurts. It brings thought back to the fact that there are very real people living in very real pain all around us. Please pray also that our family would be spilling over with love for each other, that God would protect each family member, and give us "new to this all" parents lots and lots of wisdom (oh, yes.. and strength!).

On a positive note~ There have been many opportunities for conversations about God's forgiveness lately. We have also talked a lot about the beauty of everyday being new and fresh. A whole new chance at a new life and making good decisions. It really is amazing, isn't it? Yesterday I felt nearly paralyzed with sadness, fear, distress, you name it. Today the circumstances are the same and yet my heart feels glad(ish). I laughed, did school with the kids, and have found comfort in a God who is always ready to offer comfort. BEAUTIFUL! Thank you God for the brand new fresh day and for Licorice Cowboys.

UPDATED~ Now singing~

Licorice Cowboy 1 "I see by your outfit that you are a cowboy."

Licorice Cowboy 2 "I see by your outfit you are a cowboy too."

Together "We see by our outfits that we are both cowboys."

Singing together to us all "If you get an outfit you can be a cowboy too"

Oh LaLa land can be so nice.

OH BOY!

Yesterday I was walking by and noticed all 4 boys huddled up together in a small space. With so many areas they could spread out in the house they were all content to hang out real close to each other. It was just one of those very sweet moments as a Mother. I love these boys!!!

A Day Out In The Big City

Saturday rolled around and "Mom's Day Off" was reinstated. Woo Hoo!!! I'm excited about this new area and my Saturday morning adventures. There is just so much to do around here. For the 1st adventure I took BART (the train) into San Francisco and got off right at Union Square. Oh the fun I had shopping, shopping, and MORE shopping. It was so fun to go to places I'd never been. These stores are all very high end~ Saks, Neiman Marcus, Barneys, etc. It was interesting going into Barneys and finding a shirt I liked for ONLY $1200, or the casual dress for only $1700. The clothes were beautiful, but seriously... WHO buys these things??? It was fun to look though. I managed to only buy adorable throw pillows for our couch, a show of great restraint! The day was ended in a Cafe at the very top of Nordstroms with a great view of the city. Then back on the train and headed home.

Saturday night we were given a wonderful treat when Jim's boss and his wife took our entire family out to eat to welcome us to the area. They couldn't have been any kinder to us all. They even both had all our names memorized the moment we arrived (we were all impressed!). It was a great time.

Things continue to roll along at our house. A few more boxes have been unpacked and that's always great! We would like to ask for your continued prayers for the healing of one of our children. We are learning more and more about what we are facing and it's not good. We are at a point that we are trying to make an extremely difficult (and even painful) decision. Please pray that God would give us wisdom and make his will very very clear to us in the best interest of everyone in our family.

Everything and yet Nothing at all

Ever have those times that you feel like your life is in a whirlwind, and you have a mind boggling amount of things to do, but when asked what's happened in your day you can't think of a single exciting thing? We continue to plug along (very very slowly) with the unpacking. It is amazing to me how much longer it takes to "set up shop" with 6 instead of 3 children. A lot of our day is consumed with just keeping the status quo instead of getting ahead. But that's okay, no rush, the boxes are kind enough to sit there waiting for us.



Stephanie has had a good week. She seems to really like her new school. She has even shared with me a peer pressure situation where she totally stood up for her and her friend when someone wanted to involve them in something she was uncomfortable with. I was so proud of her and her friend was in "awe" that Stephanie would stand up to this somewhat scary person. Stephanie's response to that was "I'm not scared of her!". Once again it is proven that there are some UP sides to being a strong and unbending child (even if it is hard to parent one). This gave us a chance to talk about the pressures at school, what the bible says about these pressures, and pray together. Dare I say it... a moment of BONDING!!! Thank you Lord!

Meet Maizy

For those who know us well this may turn out to be the most shocking post of all. We are the proud new parents to a fantastic dog! We have not had any pets in 8 years and honestly have not been the worlds biggest pet fans. The kids, on the other hand, have begged and begged for a dog but we have told them they had to wait until our family is ready for that kind of responsibility. Beyond that Luke and Lovenie have been TERRIFIED of dogs. The two of them have been coming around a little to the dogs of friends and family so we thought maybe we would just start looking for a pet we would all be okay with. Saturday we went to a CARE pet adoption fair. We met 3 dogs we all really liked. One was my favorite because she was so sweet and mellow, then we also came really close to adopting another dog that was much more playful (but a bit on the hyper side). The very wonderful volunteers directed us towards a dog we had somewhat overlooked and put us in a room alone to get to know her. We all fell in love with her (even Luke and Lovenie!!!). She was right in between the other two. She wasn't so mellow that she would not be playful for the kids, but was not so hyper that she would drive the parents crazy. She is just right! Now that she has been home for a while we all adore her even more. She's just an angel of a dog. She is house trained (big plus), mellow yet silly, and so very sweet to us all. I really went into this whole thing ready to "endure" it for the happiness of the kids but now I'm finding that I may just be the one that is the gaga'est over her! She just darling. So, there it is... we took the plunge and we are all thrilled about it. We look forward to you all meeting our newest sweetheart!

Pardon Us

Today we got an update on Jacques adoption and YES he is STILL in IBESR. We have hit the 8 month mark which officially makes it an even longer wait then we had with Stephanie, Jude, and Lovenie. We have learned that we are waiting for a pardon from the President to approve us for the adoption of Jacques due to the size of our family. It is very difficult for anyone to adopt from Haiti but even more difficult for a large family. :( Please Pardon Us Mr. President!

Adventures In Transition

During our time between our previous home and finding our new one we played "vacation" as much as possible in our new area. You may notice that there are more pictures of our newest family members then our other children. This is only because I'm working on an album for their birthmom and was watching for photo ops for that. Here are some of our adventures:

Living only 3 hours away instead of 9 we got to meet up with my parents twice~

We took a tour of the Jelly Belly Factory and came home with 6 pounds of "Belly Flops"~

We went to the San Jose Children's Museum~

This explains a few things!

I LOVE my Sweetheart!

Seriously, Could she be any more precious?!

We spent the day in San Francisco at Pier 39~

As happy as six kids in a candy shoppe!

Jim always gets roped into going on stage. This juggler is trying to knock the cigar out of his mouth but of course he misses again and again and knocks Jim in the head with the paddle ball. The kids and I laugh and laugh. All part of our tobacco free family plan!

Such a goofball!

And even got to go to the under the ocean aquarium~

Petting sharks and other sea creatures~

A First Valentine

Yesterday was our first Valentine's day with our newest family members. We made some wonderful memories. I thought I had received my gifts early but Jim had another surprise for me. 100 mini roses were delivered, one rose for each year he wants to spend with me. DEAL! I got a real gem in Jim! In the afternoon we called the kids together for a family meeting and gave them each a little heart shaped box of chocolates. We thought they would like them but were surprised by just how thrilled they were! We decided to share the love and picked up 10 more boxes of chocolates and headed out in the cold to meet our new neighbors and give them a gift. The reactions where wonderful. We handed out all 10 boxes (despite the cold and rain). When the unsuspecting neighbors would open the door they would find 6 kids yelling "Happy Valentines Day" and one of the children would hand them their box of chocolates. Our neighbors were all very kind and one even remembered every name of each of our family members. We all applauded her when she was done.

We ended the day with a yummy homemade steak dinner and dancing together in the living room. Good Times!

A History Of Kisses

Happy Valentines Day!

Last night all the kids were tucked away in their beds and Jim and I had a movie ready to watch (this is what we call a date night now that we have six kids!). Jim left the room to get an early present for me. I had mentioned wishing we had some chocolate while watching our movie (wink, wink) so Jim returned to the room and threw a few Hershey kisses at me. At first it startled me but I thought he was just tossing some to me. Then he threw a handful more. THEN he poured the entire open bag over my head and told me he was showering me with kisses. ;) I laughed and laughed and laughed. It was so unexpected and chocolate kisses were now all over me, the couch, and the floor. He's so much fun! Several years ago I had done something similar to him~ When he got home from work I had a bag of Hershey's kisses rolled up in the bottom of my sweatshirt. As he turned around he heard a strange quiet sound. He looked kind of puzzled but turned back around and continued walking. He heard the sound a couple times more when he turned back around to find out what was going on. It was then that he noticed a trail of Hershey kisses following where he had walked. He stood there for a second before it registered to him that I was "kissing the ground he walks on". Once he figured out what I was doing it became a game. He started jumping from one place to another while I threw handfuls of kisses to each place he had been. Then he took off running upstairs and all around the house while I chased him covering the ground as we went. Of course it made a huge mess but we laughed and laughed so it was totally worth it. So we thank you Hershey's for making a way for us to kiss the ground the other walks on and to shower our loved one in kisses!

May your Valentines Day be Sweet!

You're My Mom, Mama

Around lunch time I hear this question again and again "What are you making for lunch Mom?". Today I turned it around on Jude and asked him "What are YOU making ME for lunch today?". This verbal tennis match went back and forth for a while until I playfully asked him "What makes you think I'll be making you lunch today?". His response was to sweetly respond with "Because you are my Mom, Mama." There is something extra sweet about an adopted child so matter of factly referring to you as Mama. He wins~ I'm headed to make this darling lunch!

School fun, frustrations, and triumphs

We are settled in a bit more and as of today we are enjoying a stable internet hook up. Woo Hoo! The last week or so has been pretty tied up in trying to figure out what to do with each of our children regarding school and then jumping through hoops and hitting some brick walls. Stephanie started her new school last Thursday and is enjoying it so far. It took quite a bit of effort to get her enrolled as they wouldn't let her start until she had another round of shots. The whole thing was a little silly since she already has had two rounds of immunizations and certainly has it well in her system. We had to scramble to set up our new insurance and rush her in for the shots. I ended up there with her for hours because they took a look at her last shots and said that she was given the wrong shot last time so could not get some of the shots the school said she needed. Oh boy! So I didn't leave there until I had a doctors note in hand saying that there was no reason Stephanie should not be enrolled in school. We hadn't even left the medical office, after getting this letter, that the school called and said they had decided to go ahead and let her start without the additional shots. Gee, that news sure would have been nice to hear THREE HOURS AGO! ;) Then we went and got her school bus pass and were shocked to learn that it was $300 per semester. Are you kidding me? So I gulped and paid it. After riding the bus just 2 times we got a letter saying that due to budget cuts they may be ending the bus rides as soon as next week. That news would have been real nice to know $300 AGO!

Meanwhile Kyle, Johnny, and Jude had finished their school curriculum for the year and are ready to graduate to the next school year. We ordered their fantastic private school curriculum just to find that it is way too difficult for Jude to do until his reading and English comprehension is much improved. So we considered signing him up for public school too so that he could take advantage of their ELL program. I took him to the nearest elementary school just to find out that their school is FULL and we would have to send him elsewhere. Also because his birth certificate says he is 11 (while we suspect he is no older then 9, although we refer to him as 10, REALLY clear, right?) they would start him in a much higher grade then would be good for him. So back home he is for now while we try to decide what to do. For now I'll continue to home school him the best I can. We also have tried to sign up Lovenie for a special preschool where she can receive speech therapy. We think this would be great for her but can't get anyone to return our inquiries.

Today Kyle has official become and 5th grader and Jude and Johnny have started 3rd grade. Luke continues with his 1st to 2nd grade work and I've started some preschool on my own with Lovenie. It's going to take a while to get everyone settled with their new school work. Until then I expect to continue to be pulled a bit like taffy running back and forth between the calls of "Mooooooommmm, Can you help me please?".

All things considered we are doing well. We've had a couple good days with Stephanie and each one of those we consider to be a great gift. I will be starting counseling soon to help me learn the best ways to parent her. We are also planning to get her in soon to seek both medical and psychiatric help for her. We suspect that we are dealing with mental delays as well as RAD and PTS, possibly more. More days then not I feel tempted to just throw my hands up and "give up" but God's the glue holding us together and that's some SERIOUS glue!

The 23RD Night

Just wanted to check in and share that our family is home again (new home that is)! We spent 22 looooooong nights in a hotel during transition. I used to love staying in hotels but I way underestimated the absolute exhaustion that comes from 6 kids in a hotel. There was a whole lot of "shhhh, quiet down" and "Don't do that". It's exciting to be in our home where the kids can be kids and the Mom can get the slightest bit of down time. Last night was our first night in our home. We were up late searching for the boxes that contained the bedding for 7 different beds~ that was fun! It was so very worth it and feels great to be snuggled up in our own digs.

I had posted that we would be without internet for a while as we are having a hard time getting someone out here to hook things up. I was dreading being in a new place without being able to go online to look up where to find things we need and then to mapquest it. Last night I opened up the laptop and told Jim that while I knew there we had almost zero chance of being able to go online... you never know unless you try. Would you believe I found a wireless connection that lets us log on? Woo Hoo. Super excited!!! Not sure where it is coming from but happy to have it.

Stephanie started her first day of school again today. She is in one of the top schools in the state and they have been just fantastic to deal with and seem enthusiastic to work with her and her specific needs.

We are healthy and very very happy to be home again!

Offline

Tomorrow is the big move in day. We say so long to the hotel and hello to our new home! There will be a bit of a delay for us to wait for the whole phone/internet/cable hook ups so until then I won't be able to go online (WHAT will I do with all that free time??? Oh, right, unpacking!).